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Gastro-Physics And Dietary Anti-Matter
Do a little people-watching, next time you're in the grocery line. There's always someone with a cart, bulging with every conceivable kind of diet food. Flats of turkey bacon prop listlessly against the fat free half & half and Olestra cookies. At first glance, this is clearly someone who is completely health conscious, diet minded, and watching what they eat. But peek beneath the basket to the lower rack - where you normally find dog food, kitty litter, and toxic chemicals - and you will see the full case of Mountain Dew. Diet foods and junk foods, rubbing wrappers in the very same cart might suggest mental illness, delusional optimism, or some other form of brain strain. However, unbeknownst to the rest of us, these folks are actually brilliant physicists, cleverly disguised as profoundly confused shoppers, so as not to attract any attention. They throw you off their trail with very characteristic behaviors, like chasing a candy bar with a Diet Coke. Yes, we can now release the fact that these scientists are members of the little know branch of their field known as gastro-physics, and they are actually testing a high-level theory regarding matter and anti-matter. Just as matter can be annihilated by anti-matter, they show how calories can be eliminated, obliterated, and just forgotten about altogether if you just consume them with their Universal opposite. Oreos and skim milk cancel perfectly. M&Ms are vaporized into the next astral plane when thrown into a trail mix bag with a few Spanish peanuts. And then there's diet drinks ? the perfect dietary anti-matter for any form of plasticized fruit rollup, gummy worms, or even weight loss candy bars. Sorry for the dive into the messy scientific details, but there's just a bit more you should know about this physics phenomenon. The calorie cancellation must happen within a certain time frame, if you are serious about blipping away that ingot of taffy you just ate. It's like your mother explained, logically, that swimming after quick a baloney and cheese sandwich at the beach will make you drop like a rock to the bottom of the ocean, unless you wait the required 30 minutes or so. In just the same way, modern gastro-physicists indicate that full cancellation can only take effect if the diet product smashes into the junk food within 7.45 minutes. These guys are brilliant. So the next time you see cleverly disguised gastro-physicists chasing their Snickers with a Diet Coke, don't harrumph. They're not as daft as they seem. About The Author Dr. Will Clower is the award-winning author of The Fat Fallacy and founder of The PATH Curriculum, The PATH Online, and Newsletter. The PATH: America's weight solution. Dr. Clower can be reached on his website www.fatfallacy.com. [email protected]
MORE RESOURCES: Weight Loss Drugs Changed Their Lives. Then They Lost Coverage. The New York Times WHO scientists endorse weight loss drugs for controlling obesity: What does it mean for therapies? The Indian Express How to lose stubborn belly fat before wedding: Nutritionist shares simple weight loss plan to shed 2-3 kg in 10 days Hindustan Times ‘Was working on myself quite extensively’: Ram Kapoor shares photos after dramatic weight loss; tips on achieving sustainable fitness in middle age The Indian Express Stanford Scientists Rewrite the Ketosis Rulebook: Metabolites That Suppress Hunger and Promote Weight Loss SciTechDaily Long-term weight loss effects of semaglutide in obesity without diabetes in the SELECT trial Nature.com FDA approves Zepbound® (tirzepatide) as the first and only prescription medicine for moderate-to-severe obstructive sleep apnea in adults with obesity Investors | Eli Lilly and Company FDA approves weight-loss drug Zepbound to treat sleep apnea The Washington Post Weight Loss Drug Tirzepatide Now Approved for Sleep Apnea in Adults With Obesity AJMC.com Managed Markets Network Novo’s CagriSema Blunder Underscores Sky-High Investor Expectations for Weight Loss Drugs - BioSpace Are Weight-Loss Drugs Causing a Rift in Your Relationship? We Want to Hear About It. The New York Times Meghan Trainor Says This Strength Routine 'Changed' Her Life Women's Health Risks of weight loss medication breaks FOX 13 Seattle FDA reaffirms Eli Lilly weight-loss drug is no longer in shortage The Washington Post Novo Nordisk stock plunges 20% after a trial of its latest weight loss drug disappoints Markets Insider Wellness Wednesday: Weight loss resolutions newschannel20.com FDA Approves Weight-Loss Drug Zepbound for Sleep Apnea The Daily Beast Novo Crashes 18% After Next-Gen Obesity Drug Misses Its Mark Investor's Business Daily THIS weight-loss drug becomes first to gain approval for treating sleep apnea; details here | Mint Mint Is Viking Therapeutics, Inc. (VKTX) the Best Weight Loss Stock to Buy Now According to Hedge Funds? Yahoo Finance Best way to avoid weight gain when eating out: Nutritionist reveals clever restaurant hack; says you should drink... Hindustan Times FDA confirms shortage of weight loss drug tirzepatide is over, gives compounders a grace period STAT Reason behind Diddy's drastic weight loss behind bars as lonely Christmas approaches - The Mirror US IBD 50's Hims Tumbles On Bad News For Weight-Loss Drug Investor's Business Daily Opinion: Weight-loss drugs are great, but real food still matters Los Angeles Times Weight loss drugs are getting people to the doctor. Now comes the wave of long-ignored diagnoses Quartz Lilly's Zepbound® (tirzepatide) superior to Wegovy® (semaglutide) in head-to-head trial showing an average weight loss of 20.2% vs. 13.7% Investors | Eli Lilly and Company US obesity rates drop for 1st time in a decade, with possible help from weight loss medications ABC News Novo Nordisk stock price takes a tumble after the Wegovy maker's next-generation weight-loss drug underwhelms Fast Company The Download: shaking up neural networks, and the rise of weight-loss drugs MIT Technology Review Diddy stuns with dramatic ‘weight loss, grayer’ look at new court hearing, reporter claims Hindustan Times |
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