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Gastro-Physics And Dietary Anti-Matter
Do a little people-watching, next time you're in the grocery line. There's always someone with a cart, bulging with every conceivable kind of diet food. Flats of turkey bacon prop listlessly against the fat free half & half and Olestra cookies. At first glance, this is clearly someone who is completely health conscious, diet minded, and watching what they eat. But peek beneath the basket to the lower rack - where you normally find dog food, kitty litter, and toxic chemicals - and you will see the full case of Mountain Dew. Diet foods and junk foods, rubbing wrappers in the very same cart might suggest mental illness, delusional optimism, or some other form of brain strain. However, unbeknownst to the rest of us, these folks are actually brilliant physicists, cleverly disguised as profoundly confused shoppers, so as not to attract any attention. They throw you off their trail with very characteristic behaviors, like chasing a candy bar with a Diet Coke. Yes, we can now release the fact that these scientists are members of the little know branch of their field known as gastro-physics, and they are actually testing a high-level theory regarding matter and anti-matter. Just as matter can be annihilated by anti-matter, they show how calories can be eliminated, obliterated, and just forgotten about altogether if you just consume them with their Universal opposite. Oreos and skim milk cancel perfectly. M&Ms are vaporized into the next astral plane when thrown into a trail mix bag with a few Spanish peanuts. And then there's diet drinks ? the perfect dietary anti-matter for any form of plasticized fruit rollup, gummy worms, or even weight loss candy bars. Sorry for the dive into the messy scientific details, but there's just a bit more you should know about this physics phenomenon. The calorie cancellation must happen within a certain time frame, if you are serious about blipping away that ingot of taffy you just ate. It's like your mother explained, logically, that swimming after quick a baloney and cheese sandwich at the beach will make you drop like a rock to the bottom of the ocean, unless you wait the required 30 minutes or so. In just the same way, modern gastro-physicists indicate that full cancellation can only take effect if the diet product smashes into the junk food within 7.45 minutes. These guys are brilliant. So the next time you see cleverly disguised gastro-physicists chasing their Snickers with a Diet Coke, don't harrumph. They're not as daft as they seem. About The Author Dr. Will Clower is the award-winning author of The Fat Fallacy and founder of The PATH Curriculum, The PATH Online, and Newsletter. The PATH: America's weight solution. Dr. Clower can be reached on his website www.fatfallacy.com. [email protected]
MORE RESOURCES: Weight Loss Breakthrough: Scientists Discover Natural Compound That Suppresses Appetite SciTechDaily Weight-loss medications may also ease chronic pain New Scientist The weight-loss frenzy is making some pharma stocks much more volatile. Will the drama continue? Yahoo Finance Ozempic too expensive? These healthy foods mimic effects of pricey weight-loss drugs for pennies New York Post At age 22 I weighed 412 pounds. I had weight loss surgery and have lost 150 pounds so far. Business Insider Treatment with tirzepatide in adults with pre-diabetes and obesity or overweight resulted in sustained weight loss and nearly 99% remained diabetes-free at 176 weeks Investors | Eli Lilly and Company Chrissy Metz Weight Loss TODAY Weight loss injections and cancer: 6 questions, answered MD Anderson Cancer Center Why 1000-Lb. Sisters ' Tammy Slaton Can’t Get Skin Removal Surgery Amid Dramatic Weight Loss E! NEWS Intermittent Fasting Works for Weight Loss—but Not Much Else The Wall Street Journal The Truth About Kelly Clarkson and Keto Gummies: Weight Loss Lies Debunked by Dr. Oz [06fb4b26a] ECOWAS Weight Loss Drug Curbs Appetite, Burns Energy, Skips Side Effects Genetic Engineering & Biotechnology News Could weight loss drugs fix UK’s unemployment problem? Al Jazeera English Cincinnati CBP discovers more unapproved weight loss drugs Customs and Border Protection Diabetes, weight-loss drugs: Do they protect heart, vascular health? Medical News Today New study suggests weight loss drugs like Ozempic could help with knee pain. Here’s why there may be a link The Conversation Indonesia 5 new weight-loss drugs to watch in the fight for the next Ozempic Business Insider Exclusive | NASA monitoring second stranded astronaut's possible weight loss as Sunita Williams insists she's fine New York Post Man who shed almost 43 kg shares ‘6 numbers’ you should know to make weight loss easier Hindustan Times Haley Cavinder looks unrecognizable in before weight loss photo Sports Illustrated Weight loss plans are less effective for many Black women − because existing ones often don’t meet their unique needs The Conversation Indonesia Popular diabetes and weight-loss drug may reduce risk of Alzheimer’s disease The Daily | Case Western Reserve University Fans defend Ariana Grande against body shaming comments amid her drastic weight loss Hindustan Times Healthy low-carb diet and time-restricted eating improve weight loss and gut health beyond calorie restriction News-Medical.Net Novo Nordisk aware of reports 10 people taking compounded weight-loss drug copies died - Reuters.com Stranded NASA astronaut Sunita Williams speaks out about concerns over her weight loss in space New York Post Experts Say This Viral Trend Actually Helps You Lose Weight Women's Health Why maker of ‘magic’ weight-loss drug semaglutide wants copies banned The Indian Express Elton John, 77, Shows Off Major Weight Loss in Bold Pink Outfit Amid Ozempic Speculation Parade Magazine |
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