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Co-Dependency and Food: Trying to Fill the Void
Nice girls don't speak up. Nice girls take care of and support others. These are just a few of the messages girls often receive as they are socialized. Often in adulthood, these ingrained messages turn into full-blown co-dependency. Years can go by. Unmet needs build up energy; they demand attention. But without learning skills in setting boundaries, letting others feel their own pain and making oneself a priority, food often becomes the hassle-free, soothing balm to take the edge off and release that pent up energy momentarily, that is until the guilt sets in. We are in one of the following roles when we are co-dependent - victim, rescuer or persecutor. Following are a few examples of how these roles play out in our relationship with food: Victim: You eat too much food. You gain weight and then can't eat what you want. No matter what you do, what diet you try, you can't lose weight. No matter how you eat, you seem to continue to gain weight, feeling worse and worse. Rescuer: The dessert makes you feel better, especially the chocolate. It makes you feel loved. You feel comforted and nurtured when you eat certain foods. You reward yourself with food over the smallest perceived successes. Or someone may rescue you when you claim you can't lose weight. "You've tried hard. It's not working for you. Go ahead and eat it. You're not losing weight anyway. You can try that new diet tomorrow." Persecutor: You're great at beating up on yourself. No matter what you do, you can't lose weight. Your tortured thoughts go something like this: "I'm never going to lose this weight; it's too hard to lose weight. I hate myself because I can't control my eating. I hate myself because I'm not following this diet perfectly. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I hate myself." How do you get out of your co-dependent relationship with food? First, pay attention to your thoughts - I mean really notice. What are you saying to yourself about food, your body, your weight, yourself? Likely you'll find that you wouldn't say those things to your worst enemy. Secondly, write those thoughts down. Ask yourself if any of your thoughts are really true about you or do they come from unconscious, past patterns. Next, ask yourself if you wish to continue to believe these thoughts. If not, forgive yourself for believing them and replace those thoughts with the ones you want. It goes like this. My thoughts: I always eat too potato chips, and I can't lose weight. I'm so spineless. Are my thoughts true? I don't always eat too many potato chips. I've been eating dessert, which is probably why I can't lose weight. It's not the potato chips. I don't know why I said I'm spineless. I'm not. Why do I eat so many potato chips? When I ate them today, it was after that conversation with my friend. I felt angry. The crunch of the potato chips helped me feel less angry. Now that I think about it, I eat potato chips a lot when I'm angry. Do I want to continue believing my thoughts? No. I forgive myself for eating potato chips to swallow my anger. I forgive myself for calling myself spineless. New thoughts: When I'm angry next time, I'm going to express my anger appropriately and talk with the other person. I'm not going to eat potato chips. I can lose weight. I am successful in losing weight. Learn to listen to yourself and not rely on outside cues for what you may or may not think and feel. It's not selfish to meet your real needs directly. When you meet your true needs, food is no longer a bandage. Then you can freely choose whether or not to eat that particular food without the intensity of unmet emotional needs. It's about valuing yourself and making decisions and choices that honor your value. New thinking will support your weight loss efforts. About The Author Zo Houseman is the author of Live Lightly! that describes how she lost 100 pounds and kept it off by learning to think differently. Read free excerpts. More information and resources are available at http://www.setyourheartfree.com.
MORE RESOURCES: Gut Check: Fractyl Health Can Lock in Weight Loss From GLP-1 Drugs Inside Precision Medicine Does Intermittent Fasting Improve Health beyond Weight Loss? Scientific American ‘Ravenousness was in my job description.’ What happens when a food writer goes on a weight-loss drug? The Boston Globe Gautami Kapoor reacts to Ram Kapoor’s 55 kg weight loss without Ozempic or surgery, reveals his true inspiration Hindustan Times New weight-loss drugs meet old biases against fatness, challenging recent gains in body positivity The Clayman Institute for Gender Research DTC obesity med market heats up: Eli Lilly taps knownwell, Hims & Hers adds new weight loss meds to platform Fierce Healthcare Feinsinger column: Ozempic and other GLP-1 weight-loss drugs Post Independent 100 Pounds and Counting! One Veteran’s Story of Weight Loss | VA Saginaw health care | Veterans Affairs VA.gov Home | Veterans Affairs Lifetime Excess Weight, Adult Weight Gain Linked to Increased Renal Cancer Risk Oncology Nurse Advisor 4:3 Intermittent Fasting Outperforms Daily Calorie Restriction in Weight-Loss Study CU Anschutz newsroom Weight loss implants to increase compliance and cut admin burden for patients Pharmaceutical Technology Midwest state attorneys general call for the FDA to clamp down on counterfeit obesity drugs Iowa Public Radio Eli Lilly Vs. Hims & Hers In DTC Weight Loss Market? - There Is Only One Winner (NYSE:LLY) Seeking Alpha One Woman’s Weight Loss Win: ‘I Lost 110 Pounds Enjoying Slow Carbs!’ firstforwomen.com Eli Lilly piles on weight loss drug suits to ward off revenue squeeze Life Sciences Intellectual Property Review Weight Loss Breakthrough: Stanford Scientists Discover “Natural Ozempic” Without the Side Effects SciTechDaily 6 Korean fermented foods perfect for weight loss Times of India Hims & Hers stock slipped as investors were left unimpressed with its new weight-loss drug options Quartz Weight-Loss Drug Use Has Risen Sharply Among Children and Adults With Type 1 Diabetes Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health A woman who lost 130 pounds shares 7 changes she wasn't expecting — from people being nicer to her to food tasting different Business Insider Slimming with Ozempic: less praiseworthy than dieting and sports Оперативні новини України та Світу This 3-day-a-week diet could be a vital weight loss strategy, say scientists BBC Science Focus Magazine Best SARMs For Cutting, Bulking & Muscle Growth 2025: Top Fat Loss Sarms Stack For Sale On The Market - CrazyBulk GlobeNewswire Love Is Blind's Chelsea Blackwell Claps Back at Haters Over Weight Loss From Medication - E! Online E! Online Man weighing 150 kilos sheds half of it: Know how he did it with a simple protein-rich diet plan Times of India Meghan Trainor flaunts dramatic weight loss transformation at Billboard event, reveals how she's ‘biohacking’ her body Hindustan Times Intermittent fasting three days a week outperforms traditional dieting in weight-loss study PhillyVoice This natural South American drink works like Ozempic — and can lower your risk of heart disease New York Post Maximize Fat Burn: How To Find Your Target Heart Rate for Weight Loss firstforwomen.com Do Ozempic and Wegovy really cause hair loss? New Scientist Pierce Brosnan's wife Keely showcases incredible transformation in figure-hugging mini-dress hellomagazine.com Rapid Weight Loss and Arrhythmia Mass General Brigham |
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