Mexican Living: Too Dang Fat!

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I thought I could avoid this when we moved to Mexico. I thought being here would effect a permanent change. I didn't think I would have to struggle with this anymore. I was wrong!

The doctor just told me that I am too fat.

What happened? I was doing so well. I even wrote about my progress in the book my wife and I wrote.

When we first moved to Guanajuato, I dropped about 40 pounds. This was exciting beyond my wildest expectations. We moved here without a car and vowed never to get another one. And we haven't. We ended up having to walk everywhere and everyday.

I was in Spanish classes, so I had to walk five days a week to and from classes. In addition, wherever my wife needed to go, I usually would escort her. We both became walking freaks.

I think another reason we walked so much is that we had a tiny apartment that wasn't all that comfortable. So, to keep from being bored and going stir-crazy we got out-a lot. There was also the issue of noise in that neighborhood. The people across from us had two yip-yip, demonically possessed poodles that barked day and night without end. This drove us from the apartment often.

We eventually found a lovely little house in a quiet neighborhood and snatched it. The only thing is that it is far away from anywhere. There is a downside and an upside to this.

Upside: To get to town, on goods days, we walk about thirty minutes to get to the park. We rest there, have a coke, and then proceed to the stores for shopping. Lots and lots of walking is required.

Downside: It is so far from anywhere that we are often tempted to take the bus or just not get out at all. Whereas we were walking 6-7 days a week at the other place, now we barely get our fat butts out of the house 2 or 3 times a week.

Result: Doug gained most of his old weight back and is now "fat, fat the water rat." In addition, my blood sugar is doing things it should not be doing.

Tsk! Tsk!

I admit it. I confess that I have fallen back into my old slovenly Americanized lifestyle of eating too much of the wrong kinds of foods and then not exercising enough.

When I told a gringo friend that my doctor told me I was too fat, he told me to get another doctor. Do you think that would work? Sigh!

So, here is the plan: I have to lose at least 2 kilos, according to my doctor, per month. He said to avoid all the foods and treats I adore and to walk my butt off. (I am convinced that's where most of the weight is located-in my butt.)

He told me to show back up in a month for a weigh-in. That was three weeks ago and I haven't lost one ounce. What am I going to do?

My options:

· Fast for a week.

· Find another doctor.

· Fast and jog for a week.

· Hide out from the doctor and then show up later claiming I lost track of time.

· Throw myself at the doctor's feet and cry for mercy.

· Tell him Weight Watchers only accept women in Mexico (Oh, wait! There is no Weight Watchers here.).

· Go for the office visit and introduce myself as Seńor Fat, fat the water rat."

· Send someone disguised as me who is really skinny.

Seriously, obesity is a serious problem and though I am struggling with this, I am determined to overcome it.

Write me at mexico03expat-guanajuato@yahoo.com and tell me about your struggles with weight. Give me suggestions and maybe I will use them in this column.

Doug Bower is a freelance writer and book author. His most recent writing credits include The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston Chronicle, and The Philadelphia Inquirer, and Transitions Abroad. He lives with his wife in Guanajuato, Mexico. His new book, Mexican Living: Blogging it from a Third World Country, can be seen at http://www.lulu.com/content/126241