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After WLS: Goodbye Self-Loathing! Hello Self-Loving!
You won't believe what happened to me today! I was getting ready for work and saw myself naked in the full-length mirror and I didn't hate what I saw! I actually gave myself an unrehearsed slightly passive self-compliment "You don't look bad today." The reason this is monumental is because most of the time when I look in the mirror I do not like what I see and I give myself harsh criticism. I suppose after years of self-loathing that it is more comfortable to degrade my appearance than to appreciate it. Many patients report hyper-judging their bodies after weight loss; it seems the thinner we get the more judgmental we are of our bodies. These days I'm critical of thighs that seem a bit jiggly and some very unattractive cottage cheese dimples on my rear end. Loathing these body parts keeps me from appreciating a thin waist, toned arms or those curious collarbones that were in hiding for so many years. Body dysmorphic disorder is a mental image many victims of anorexia nervosa have that tells them they look fat, even when they are emaciated. Morbidly obese people and bariatric patients can suffer from body dysmorphia as well. One reader, ThereseD, posted this message regarding body perception: "Body Dysmorphia is REAL! Over five years after my open RNY gastric bypass and I got hit with it again just last night, when I was cleaning out my closet. My daughter commented that my new shirt, which I was so proudly placing at the front, was too big and needs to go in the "go" pile. I checked the label and sure enough, it said "Large". Following my revision surgery of April 18, 2005, I still have my bandages and I'm probably wearing a size 4 Petite . . . and still I put on a smart and stylish new top in a size that's just too big for me! Oops!" When we were morbidly obese our emotional coping mechanisms kicked in and many of us were able to convince ourselves we really weren't that big. It is emotionally kinder to avoid body criticism. The whole issue of obesity seems hopeless. In fact, many morbidly obese patients will say they see themselves normal sized. That is until rude moments remind them they are not normal sized: a skinny chair, a turnstile, a bathroom stall, a flight of stairs, a photograph. This false perception is a subconscious coping strategy to protect us from the brutal truth, the truth about how big morbidly obese really is. After surgery, there is a tendency for the body dysmorphia to reverse. Before surgery we denied how big we were, after surgery we judge ourselves critically - like the anorexic - and fail to see an honest reflection. One woman, down from size 24 to size 10 wrote, "I feel fat daily. I never felt this at 248 pounds - I saw a thinner person in the mirror than I see now. I look at my size 10 jeans and they look like tents. I don't feel as attractive as I did when I was heavy. I don't understand it," she continued, "but I think it has to do with learning to accept yourself fat so you didn't see all the fat. Now I just have to learn to accept myself as thinner." It has been suggested that dressing in stylish clothes that fit is one way to beat the body blues. Another idea, as Therese suggested, is having a bystander who will be honest about our appearance. Therese wrote, "My daughter's the number one person I go to, when I need to cure the myopic view of myself that I've developed." I wish I knew what magic happened this morning that I accepted and appreciated my own body. If I could package that magic I would personally mail it to every reader of LivingAfterWLS.com - we ALL deserve to love and appreciate ourselves. It's time for the self-loathing to end and the self-appreciation to begin. Kaye Bailey � 2005- All Rights Reserved Kaye Bailey is a weight loss surgery success story having maintained her health and goal weight for 5+ years. An award winning journalist, she is the author and webmaster of http://www.livingafterwls.com and http://www.livingafterwls.blogspot.com Fresh & insightful content is added daily, check in often. To subscribe to the LivingAfterWLS monthly newsletter "You Have Arrived" click on http://www.livingafterwls.com and enter your details in the subscription box.
MORE RESOURCES: Gut Check: Fractyl Health Can Lock in Weight Loss From GLP-1 Drugs Inside Precision Medicine Does Intermittent Fasting Improve Health beyond Weight Loss? Scientific American ‘Ravenousness was in my job description.’ What happens when a food writer goes on a weight-loss drug? The Boston Globe Gautami Kapoor reacts to Ram Kapoor’s 55 kg weight loss without Ozempic or surgery, reveals his true inspiration Hindustan Times DTC obesity med market heats up: Eli Lilly taps knownwell, Hims & Hers adds new weight loss meds to platform Fierce Healthcare New weight-loss drugs meet old biases against fatness, challenging recent gains in body positivity The Clayman Institute for Gender Research Feinsinger column: Ozempic and other GLP-1 weight-loss drugs Post Independent 100 Pounds and Counting! One Veteran’s Story of Weight Loss | VA Saginaw health care | Veterans Affairs VA.gov Home | Veterans Affairs Lifetime Excess Weight, Adult Weight Gain Linked to Increased Renal Cancer Risk Oncology Nurse Advisor 4:3 Intermittent Fasting Outperforms Daily Calorie Restriction in Weight-Loss Study CU Anschutz newsroom Weight loss implants to increase compliance and cut admin burden for patients Pharmaceutical Technology Midwest state attorneys general call for the FDA to clamp down on counterfeit obesity drugs Iowa Public Radio Eli Lilly Vs. Hims & Hers In DTC Weight Loss Market? - There Is Only One Winner (NYSE:LLY) Seeking Alpha One Woman’s Weight Loss Win: ‘I Lost 110 Pounds Enjoying Slow Carbs!’ firstforwomen.com Eli Lilly piles on weight loss drug suits to ward off revenue squeeze Life Sciences Intellectual Property Review Weight Loss Breakthrough: Stanford Scientists Discover “Natural Ozempic” Without the Side Effects SciTechDaily 6 Korean fermented foods perfect for weight loss Times of India Hims & Hers stock slipped as investors were left unimpressed with its new weight-loss drug options Quartz Weight-Loss Drug Use Has Risen Sharply Among Children and Adults With Type 1 Diabetes Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health A woman who lost 130 pounds shares 7 changes she wasn't expecting — from people being nicer to her to food tasting different Business Insider Slimming with Ozempic: less praiseworthy than dieting and sports Оперативні новини України та Світу This 3-day-a-week diet could be a vital weight loss strategy, say scientists BBC Science Focus Magazine Best SARMs For Cutting, Bulking & Muscle Growth 2025: Top Fat Loss Sarms Stack For Sale On The Market - CrazyBulk GlobeNewswire Man weighing 150 kilos sheds half of it: Know how he did it with a simple protein-rich diet plan Times of India Love Is Blind's Chelsea Blackwell Claps Back at Haters Over Weight Loss From Medication - E! Online E! Online Meghan Trainor flaunts dramatic weight loss transformation at Billboard event, reveals how she's ‘biohacking’ her body Hindustan Times Intermittent fasting three days a week outperforms traditional dieting in weight-loss study PhillyVoice This natural South American drink works like Ozempic — and can lower your risk of heart disease New York Post Maximize Fat Burn: How To Find Your Target Heart Rate for Weight Loss firstforwomen.com Do Ozempic and Wegovy really cause hair loss? New Scientist Rapid Weight Loss and Arrhythmia Mass General Brigham |
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